I can’t listen to anything said or written by John Piper. No books, no sermons, and nothing on this website. Yes, I’ve tried.

It’s not that I don’t like the guy. As far as I know, he is probably good, kind, and humble. I have friends who were grateful for his influence at certain times in their lives. And I’m pretty sure he’s got a good grasp on theology (although we have some big differences of opinion there!). I expect we shall probably be nearer neighbors in a future age, at some future date, and I might enjoy his company when I get to know him personally.

But that doesn’t mean I would put weight on his words.

But why?

Before I explain my objections, I want to set up a metaphor…

Plant Life

Someone recently (brilliantly) compared our own personal, spiritual growth with gardening. This isn’t new, but it struck me afresh.

Here’s a short list of what a plant needs to thrive on the Earth:

• Sunshine = Truth. Fuel to grow. Get enough of it, but not too much all at once or you’ll scorch!
• Water = Grace. Kindness. Get enough of this, too, especially if you’ve had a lot of sun (truth) lately! But your roots might rot in too much water, so not too much of that, either.
• Soil and minerals = Responsibilities. Opportunities and adventures. Work and contribution. You need soil that’s rich, deep, and soft so you can grow from a little seed, dig in your roots, and become strong. All rock or all clay will make things very difficult for you.

We could get more technical about oxygen, nitrogen, living soil, temperature, etc., but that would make this post longer than my attention span!

Some plants need more water than others. Some plants need more sunshine than others. People who understand plants know that not all plants need the same amount of these things, and plants that aren’t healthy have different needs than healthy plants.

Healthy Plants vs. Unhealthy

It seems to me that Piper has “grown” in a different environment than me. He seems to put a lot of stress on guilt and responsibility, and much less on grace and kindness.

Side bar for my Reformed friends: If you know anything about Piper or Reformed theology, you may start thinking in exclamation points, because I said he doesn’t focus on grace. I know that, as a Reformed theologian, he believes that people are “saved by grace,” and this frequently features in his teachings. But I would say (with respect) that the traditional Reformed concept of grace is anemic, because common grace – the generosity and kindness God shows that doesn’t have to do with going to heaven or hell – is treated with little appreciation. Whatever might be believed on paper, the real attitude reveals that common grace is a concession to make people comfortable with a seeming contradiction between their theology and experience, because the God of the Bible is often kind to people who don’t profess any allegiance to Him. If you see theology from a reformed point of view, you tend to put a lot of value in identifying guilt and professing God’s forgiveness of that guilt (“grace”). It’s the centerpiece of Reformation theology. I have observed that the side effect of this, intended or unintended, is to measure all relational transactions to this guilt-forgiveness axis. So then, common grace is considered a lower order of grace in the Reformed mind. As I write this, I also wonder if there’s an implicit negative connotation in calling it “common.” It’s shared with “the common people” as opposed to “the elect.” Hmm! I think I’m on to something…

Back to my main thought…

So I said that Piper puts more stress on responsibility and guilt. He appears to think we are over-watered with grace and kindness – soft, spoiled, and in need of a kick in the pants.

For example, I recently heard someone quote Piper regarding our mindless enjoyments like streaming, sports, and other seemingly fruitless hobbies. He challenged his listeners to think about how different their lives would be if they would spend that time productively in meditation on the Lord, studying the Bible, etc.

The implication of Piper’s message was that I need to take on more responsibility, and I need to feel guilty about how I waste my time. There is biblical basis for such a statement in Ephesians, so I have to believe there are cases where this applies.

When I heard this, I thought of my own habits relating to Netflix and Amazon Prime, which are my “fruitless” hobbies of choice. It was a compelling suggestion, and of course I’ve often wondered if streaming was the best way to spend my time. So I prayed about it and considered it for a few days, even though it seemed overwhelming and too hard for me. Generally, when I consider change, I can tell if I have the willpower inside me or the inspiration to move me or the conviction to correct me. Nothing was there for this one. Just feeling overwhelmed and sad.

Eventually, instead of hearing that I should “make the best use of the time, because the days are evil,” I heard,

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Wow, that’s a horse of a different color! It turned out that the Lord said a complete “No!” to Piper’s exhortation. The Lord told me that my habit of streaming entertainment was a healthy way of resting in between facing tough realities, and I needed to give myself that time to check out and recover between battles for my life that I was normally engaged in.

Was Piper wrong altogether?

Certainly, it’s appropriate sometimes to review your life and evaluate where you put your energies. We want to think about what we’re doing and avoid floating blindly through life on the wave of surrounding influences.

However, abused people often tend to set inhumane standards for themselves, and I was tempted to go down this road. It makes so much sense: Maybe your life is messed up because you’re not doing it right. Our most significant relationships are a crushing burden on our souls, but we are afraid to walk away because we believe we’ll be all alone. We believe we deserve it. So we are comfortable in our misery and try to compound it in any way possible, hoping that eventually we can feel loved or accepted or valued…somehow.

Piper’s world is, apparently, very different from mine. He was talking to over-watered plants – supposing that there are any out there…are there any? He wasn’t talking to anemic, abused plants, sickened by the hot sun and parched for water.

The Lord is already asking me to process dark realities and the heavy emotions that go with them. It’s true – you can’t handle the truth! Many people refuse to walk down this road and I cannot say that I’ve enjoyed it, even if there’s a light at the end. This could often leave me mentally exhausted and too emotionally fragile to function for a while afterward. It could be hours or days, and I didn’t have the ability to just sleep through it. Streaming movies, documentaries, or whatever was a great way to rest and let myself recover, without resorting to more destructive coping mechanisms like illicit drugs or sex.

Not every instruction is meant for every follower of Jesus in every season. Some instructions are totally opposite of each other, and we have to know when to apply which. Jesus knew this when he welcomed the burdened, weary crowds – “sheep without a shepherd.” I wish preachers would address that openly a little more often, and help us make wise decisions about when to apply which words of wisdom.

It could really help those of us who are battling an addiction to self-blame.